WHEREVER RICH GOES: THE ART OF TRAVELING HANDSOME

At 12:05 PM, Richard Strulson strided into Hugo’s, a well known restaurant in Los Angeles. Carrying a million dollar smile and a crisp white tank top, he made his way over to our two-top. I extended my hand and began to introduce myself as a stranger, an ongoing joke between us. The Stranger Danger Effect, we call it. It’s our way of saying we have not seen each other in a long time. He pushed my hand away and pulled me into a hug as two great friends would do. A hug from Richard is like the sight of sunlight after a bad storm. It’s something to always look forward to.

Richard and his husband Mike Vollman were two faces I constantly ran into after I moved to Los Angeles. That was 12 years ago. However, in the last three years Richard and Mike have become two of my closest friends. As we sat down, he cracked on me for giving him bad directions on how to find me in the restaurant. It was expected, we don’t miss an opportunity to crack on each other.

I immediately pointed out his tan, no like literally pointed it out. He laughed then told me that he and Mike just wrapped a two week trip in New York City where they celebrated gay pride, visited family and friends, hit boardways and exhibits. The idea of moving to New York came up but they decided to table it. They would miss me too much, at least that’s what I said after he told me about their thoughts. However, this trip like all of his trips was about creating an experience.

“When I travel, I like to maximize my time, to me it is all about the experience and how much I can do with what time I have there,” he said, before scanning the menu. He then went on to tell me about his busy week. We ordered salads of course, we’re two handsome gay men in the thick of summer. I did blame him for the fact that I was starving myself this week.

Strulson, his husband and BFF, Branden Chapman host one of the greatest pool parties in Los Angeles but this would be the final one. I was attending, hence why I was starving myself. This party has shaped a lot of LA’s gay culture. Relationships whether they be platonic or romantic were formed throughout the years, at this party. It also jump started my social life in Los Angeles. “It was bittersweet for me,” Richard explained. “It’s time to move on to something different.”

Richard was feeling that it was time to shake things up a bit. Looking up from his menu, he explained that at this stage of his life his goals and priorities have changed. I comically brought up like being “Daddy” and doing what “Daddies” do, which in turn he cut his eye at me. The term Daddy is something Richard doesn’t exactly vibe with, at least not in the sexual way that society presents it as. “I embrace it. You kinda have to,” He said. “It’s either that or die, right? So I’ve chosen to embrace it and made it my own.”

He bragged about his Daddy cap that he has and mentioned maybe getting a shirt or something but was very clear that the term “Daddy” does not define who he is. For Richard, life now looked like focusing on creating new experiences with the people who mean the most to him and accomplishing a goal that he has always wanted to do. “I want to step foot in every country in the world before I die,” he said with confidence. “My love for travel started young,” Richard told me.

In the fourth grade, Richard had to do a class project on a foreign country and he chose Austria. Part of the assignment was writing a mini research paper and baking a dish from the country. This project stressed him and his mom out so bad, “Of course, I picked a tart that was complicated to bake,” he said. “She was so annoyed with me. Neither one of us was good at baking.” Richard and his mom would successfully bake that tart. While working on this project it sparked his interest in traveling. He said, “It just fascinated me to learn about different places.”

Richard joked that his parents didn’t travel much until he was born. Being number 5 out of 6 kids, he and his little sister were lucky to hit the road with his parents. He reminisced about spending almost every Christmas in the Caribbean with his family and trips to Asia.

I asked him if he thought of traveling as a sport. He sat back, thought for a minute then said, “The traditional idea of sports is shooting a basketball through a hoop or tossing the pigskin, hoping for a touchdown, right? But for me… It’s getting a new stamp in my passport.” We chuckled as he said that, “So to answer that question, yes. I do think of traveling as a sport.”

Richard lit up when I asked him to walk me through his process of deciding where to go. He told me it’s all about doing the research and finding out what’s happening in that specific location of interest. “I’m always thinking about where to go. It’s always in the back of my head,” Richard said. He continued on, saying that once he picks a place, it’s important to find out what’s happening there, best areas to stay, where to eat and to find out what the locals are doing. “The trick is  not be a tourist but experience your destination as a local.”

Richard told me that people constantly tease him about being glued to his phone at times but all he is doing is looking at different cities to visit. Again he has a huge goal to complete. It’s a thought for him that never goes away. “I’m constantly looking on social media to see what is happening in other countries. It brings me joy to be in different environments,” he explained. “I’m more than halfway done.”

When the question of how traveling impacted him, he grew quiet. He took a sip from his tea, then admitted that traveling has forced him to redefine himself. For so long, I defined myself by my career and getting ahead,” he said. “I was raised to be very success-oriented!” He continued to tell me that he hadn’t figured out his new definition of himself yet, but it is slowly being revealed.

As the check came, I asked him what was next for him. His next trip was with a bunch of his friends on a cruise overseas. He also circled back and said he wanted to strengthen his current relationships, and form new ones. He expresses traveling more with friends and his partner.

He gave me another hug, then put on his Ray-Bans and said, “Traveling is an essential, Rob. Think like food and water. How else are you going to grow?”